All the small things

I have rheumatoid arthritis.  It's in my hands, feet, and it is especially annoyingly painful in my lower back.  Many people don't know this about me, although I don't really try to hide it.  In part, it's because I don't want to be known by my disease.  It's also because I am fairly tough and most of the time I just power through.  But none of that is what I want to tell y'all today.

I have several friends, and even family members, who have chronic ailments.  I've prayed for healing for them, I've seen healing take place in some of them, and I do believe that God can and will heal (whether it's on this side of heaven or not is all in His will).  But I don't pray for healing for myself.  I don't even think about it.  I realized that this morning as we stood in church and pastor Lynn asked people who needed healing to come forward.  I don't think of myself as a chronic sufferer and I don't think of myself as needing healing.  And then my husband grabbed my hand and pulled me forward and asked the elders to pray over me.  As a friend anointed me with oil and said, "I had no idea you had RA," it occurred to me exactly why it is that I don't pray for healing for myself.  I'm not important enough to matter.

"But wait," the spirit I've asked to live in me said, "I made you the most important thing in the world to me."  That whisper in my soul resounded in my head and heart with a shout, telling me that if I am not important, then what was Jesus' sacrifice for?!  If I'm not important, then I'm trampling on His love for me and His value in me.  How dare I think I'm not important enough and not worth considering for healing?!  If Jesus died for me, for my sins, for my healing (albeit spiritual or physical) then who am I to reject his sacrifice because of my own feelings of unworthiness?  And so, as I stood there with friends and loved ones praying over me, I felt something else; spiritual healing.

Y'all, I can't be the only person who thinks this way.  Do you feel like your issues are too small or too unimportant for God to deal with?  I mean, He has bigger issues to deal with, right?  Like world peace, starving children, etc., etc.  Here's something that God has been trying to prove to me for a while now in other ways- He cares about the small stuff.  This past Friday I was shopping for clothing for my teenagers who are growing just way too quickly.  I've been thinking about getting a new pair of a specific kind of shoe and just kind of waiting to find that "right" pair.  I walked into the re-sale shop and I'll be darned if the exact same pair of shoes I already owned wasn't sitting all shiny and brand-new looking on the shelf (as opposed to the busted up and falling apart ones currently on my feet).  It's not like I was praying for new flip-flops.  But God knows our thoughts and the desires of our hearts (small and large).  And here these flip-flops were.  As if that wasn't enough, the next morning I was driving past a certain house with a #BTR sign in the front yard (a specific slogan from our church which stands for Bring The Rain) and wondering who lived there, also thinking about how we haven't had any service calls on that specific street yet.  Guess who called me that same day needing my awesome appliance-repairing guru husband?  Yep, the sweet woman who lives in that exact house.  It was like God was saying to me, "Do you get it yet?"  So obviously, (and these are just a couple of examples out of quite a number of them) God has been trying to point out to me that he cares and that the things I think about, feel, do, say, etc., are important to Him, no matter how small.  So why on earth would the fact that I am suffering from a debilitating and chronic disease not be important to Him?  Ok, God, point taken.  I am finally hearing you. 

I may never be healed of rheumatoid arthritis while I live on this earth.  I may suffer with it and struggle some days.  But I'm still going to ask and seek that healing.  Jesus said I was worth it.   I choose to believe Him because I know His word to be true.

One Word for 2016

Several years ago, a friend of mine told me about how she prayed about a one-word theme for her new year rather than creating a New Year's Resolution.  The idea appealed to me because I've never been great at following through on resolutions, but words... words I can do!  I was interested to see what kind of word God would provide for me.  The first New Year word I ever received was "discernment."  I'll be darned if it wasn't just what I needed to practice that year.

This is a tradition I've committed to every year since then.  I don't always have my word on New Year's Day.  In fact, more often, I don't receive my word until later in the month.  On occasion it has even taken as long as two months to be revealed.  This year, as I was sitting in church this past Sunday morning, my word drifted into my soul and was so immediately incredible I sat up straighter in my pew.  My word for the year: intentional.

Intentional?  Well that just had to come from God because He knows I wouldn't put a word like that on myself.  As I was sitting there, moments after realizing my word for the year, immediately God started speaking to me about it.  He told me I need to be more intentional in my prayer life- I need to pray more specific prayers and at more specified times.  Um, ok.  Guess that means the empty prayer journal on my bedside table is going to start filling up.  Then, he told me that I need to be more intentional in my actions.  Wow.  And, ouch.  If that didn't step on my toes...  If you know me, you know that I tend to go with the flow and whatever comes my way is what I end up doing.  I'm a fly by the seat of my pants type of Jesus girl.  Sure, I plan stuff and follow through, but I'm not a very thorough and organized planner.  I can be, however, I don't practice it.  God told me that my actions mean something; the things I do matter, and therefore, they need to be more intentional.  I have to put more thought into the things I do.  Y'all, this is good stuff.  I could not make this up.  It is all God.  And I'm excited and a little freaked out about where this intentional word is going to lead me.

And so, dear reader, where does this leave you?  Have you heard your word for the year?  Do you like the idea of having a theme rather than a resolution which will be forgotten by mid-February?  Tell me what your word is for the year and tell me what you think it's going to mean for your 2016.  Let's hold each other accountable for staying connected to our words and thereby growing closer to Jesus this year!

Following Your Heart

I hear people say "follow your heart" all the time. I see beautifully made pictures on Facebook with that quote, and I see well-meaning people give that piece of advice to struggling friends. Follow your heart. It sounds so simple and it would make life so much simpler if we could just decide to follow our hearts. I'd love to follow my heart and do whatever I felt like doing! It presents itself as an ideal solution to our own happiness. But beware those sugary sweet words of advice; they'll end up tasting sour as vinegar.

The problem with following our hearts is that our hearts are deceitful. Jeremiah 17:9 says "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" Our hearts lie. We look inside ourselves and we think we know what we want and/or need, but it's not the truth. God knows what we need, his plan is sovereign, and always for our good (Jeremiah 29:11). Jeremiah says we don't even know how bad our own hearts are. Think about that for a minute-- our hearts are deceiving us already and we're blinded to the fact that they are deceiving us, so we can't even understand how bad our own desires are! I'm not saying that everything we want or desire for ourselves is bad, but we are inherently selfish beings and we don't ultimately know what is best for us. Because our hearts are deceitful, it is vital to pray for God's leading and his wisdom in our lives. We have to be discerning about whether we are following our own hearts or listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit whispering to our hearts. When we are open to being obedient to God's voice in our lives, it is truly amazing how our own wills are brought into alignment with his. We then start to desire what God desires for us. In this way, we are no longer so disappointed when things we thought we wanted don't come to pass.

Here's an example: a couple of years ago, we had the chance to move to Canada (where my husband is from) and take over a family business. We were so excited and couldn't wait to get everything in order and ready to go! We prayed about it often. Although it seemed like exactly what we wanted and had ever hoped for, we still prayed God's will over it. Through the months it took to try and get everything settled, we prayed for God's will to be revealed even though we really wanted to move. After several months of planning and praying, we found that what we thought had been our hearts' desire in moving turned out to be contrary to the will of God, and in praying for God's will, he had changed the desires of our hearts and we no longer wanted to move. Amazing how he does that! Something we thought we had so wanted ended up being something we didn't want after we prayed for God's will to be revealed in our lives.

It's easy to get caught up in your own desires, your own plans, your own hopes and dreams. There's nothing wrong with having desires, plans, hopes and dreams. We just have to realize that they may not be what God has planned for us. However, when we pray for his will to be accomplished in our lives, and truly desire to be obedient, we won't be disappointed if our own plans don't come true. God's plan is always the best plan, and when we desire nothing more than to walk in his will, we will experience the fullness of God's blessings for us.

God's Gift

I read this quote for the first time a week or so ago, when a friend posted it on her Facebook wall in honor of St. Nicholas Day.  It really got my attention and so I looked into this St. Nicholas of Myra.  He was an interesting fellow.  The way in which he was made bishop was unique.  One of the wise men in charge of electing a new bishop had a dream in which God told him to choose the first man named Nicholas to enter the chapel for matins the next day.  Nicholas of Myra was the first person named Nicholas to enter for matins that day, and therefore was made bishop.  Another story talks about a famine in Myra.  When several ships carrying grain came into the harbor there, St. Nicholas convinced the sailors to give the people of Myra a measure of grain from each ship.  He told the sailors, who were fearful the missing grain would be found out, that God would make up the difference.  When the ships' cargo was weighed, there was indeed no difference between what they had and what they were supposed to have.  Still another time St. Nicholas petitioned Constantine to lower the taxes for Myra because they were so high that the people were suffering.  Constantine agreed and the people of Myra were again saved from hardship.

So, this interesting long-dead bishop really put Christmas in perspective for me this year.  My husband and I were talking about the gifts we were going to get for our kids this year, and he was talking about how much they already have and how they don't need anything, etc.  I was agreeing with him on those points.  He said something about how they really don't deserve a whole bunch of gifts, and that's where this quote came in.  None of us deserve gifts.  If Christmas were truly merit-based, there wouldn't be a Black Friday or a Cyber Monday because nobody would be buying gifts.

Christmas has become so commercialized.  But more than that, for kids at least, it has become centered on their behavior and how they can earn their gifts each year.  I totally understand motivating kids to be on their best behavior.  I'm all for it.  But in this instance, are we doing our children a disservice by obscuring the real intention behind gift-giving?  Sure, we talk about Jesus being born and we're celebrating his birth after the fashion of the Wise Men, but it should be more than that.  Jesus is no longer a baby in a  manger.  He's the Spotless Lamb who was sacrificed, dead, and then rose again and is alive today.  He was the perfect gift; undeserved, unearned, and in no way related to our own actions.  How much more meaningful is a gift given to someone who has no reason to expect one because they haven't earned it?  It sheds a new light on Christmas for all of us and can be a powerful example for our kids if we'll just help them to understand that they're getting presents from their earthly parents even though their behavior didn't merit favor because in the same way, God their Heavenly Father sent His Perfect Gift to us when we didn't deserve it.

I love this view of gift-giving and it has changed my perspective.  I love giving gifts to others.  It isn't that my gifts are always merit-based, but this way of looking at the gifting tradition is going to make me think about who and why I am giving much more than I have in the past.  It adds depth.  It also makes me think differently about the gifts I receive.  I'm far from perfect and my behavior today alone doesn't merit anything special.  And yet, Jesus still died for me and the Father's Gift still stands.  And that, my friends, is what Christmas is all about.

“She makes her own bedspreads.  She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.”Proverbs 31:22, NLT

Being a Proverbial Wife (or, at least, trying my best to be one) I try to read Proverbs 31 often so that I can keep fresh in my mind exactly what that means.  Today, this verse stood out to me and these are my thoughts on it.

This wife cares what her husband thinks of her.  She wants him to be comfortable, happy, pleased, and she wants him to find pleasure in how she is dressed.  The Proverbial wife wants her bed to be a place of comfort and beauty.  She wants her husband to be able to enjoy his bed.  She makes her own bedspreads because she wants to make sure that they are beautiful and comfortable, pleasing to both her and her husband.  She dresses in fine clothing (which she has probably also made for herself) so that she looks nice.  The Proverbial wife wants to look good for her man!  I’m sure there were times when she schlepped around in her second best clothing, but overall, she cared about how her husband saw her and she cared about what kind of impression she gave others because that also reflected on her husband.

Ladies, we don’t always have to be walking around in heels and pearls, but it is important that we care about our appearance.  Sure, there are days I walk around the house in my pajamas, but they’re pretty rare.  When we’re working outside on the house or the yard I wear appropriate clothing for that too.  But when I’m going to the store, or to the kids’ school, etc., I make sure I’m dressed nicely.  My appearance is a statement about myself and about my husband.  My appearance tells people whether or not I care about myself, my spouse, my home.  If I always walked around in sweats and t-shirts with holes people would think that I was a slob.  You may say that it doesn’t matter what other people think, but in some cases it does and here is why: giving others a bad impression about yourself is disrespectful to your husband.

If you’re like me, you generally always try to cast your spouse in the best possible light to others.  Sure, he has faults, but they aren’t for public discussion.  If I constantly wore shabby clothing, it casts my husband in a shadow of doubt.  People would wonder if my husband just had really low standards because if I look that shabby, what must our home look like?  Most of us want our husbands to be respected in the community.  Ladies, I’m telling you, that depends in part on us!  If we aren’t respectable, why should people respect our husbands?  When people can’t see past our appearance then our testimony is compromised.

The bottom line is that we should put effort into our appearance for the sake of our husbands.  Remember when you were dating, and you’d get dressed with him in mind, and put your makeup on so that he would see you as pretty?  Why should that have changed once married?  Even if you don’t feel like your husband deserves that kind of respect and honor, God still does.  Ultimately, God is our husband; we are the Bride of Christ.  He certainly deserves our best every day.

Which way are you pointing?

I've had this subject rolling around in my mind for several days now, and with the news from Kentucky about Kim Davis, I thought it was time to put my thoughts out there.  In case you aren't aware, dear reader, Kim Davis is a county clerk in Kentucky who was ordered to serve time in jail because she refused to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples.

I really don't know what she expected to happen.  It was not a surprise that she was going to be required to issue same sex marriage licenses.  Here's the thing- if she was opposed to doing this because of her personal belief system, then she should have been looking for a different job.  Or- and this would be my personal preference were I in her situation- she could have used her position as a tool to witness for Jesus.  I understand disagreeing with the gay/lesbian lifestyle.  However, there is a better way to approach people about it which does not require unnecessary martyrdom.  

Here's what I think a lot of Christians fail to realize: we cannot hold non-Christians to a belief system to which they do not ascribe!  Why is it that we expect people who do not have a personal relationship with Jesus to act like they do?  Dear reader, it is hard enough for me to consistently act in a manner befitting a Jesus girl!  I fall short daily!  The difference is that because I have the Holy Spirit convicting me, I can clearly see when I've done wrong and I feel remorse and seek forgiveness.  If someone who doesn't have the Holy Spirit is committing sin, how can we expect them to be convicted of that sin?  It does no good for us as Christians to point out their sin!  It just makes us come across as judgmental hypocrites, because we do fall short and they don't have a concept of grace.

So, what if instead of trying to convict sinners, we instead pointed people to Jesus and let Him do the convicting?  What if we just loved people, no matter their situation, and showed them that there is a better way?  It is not our job to be the Holy Spirit to non-believers.  It is our job to love them, minister to them, and point them to Jesus.  Show them how you live your life.  Show them how you live your relationship with Jesus every day in your marriage, at your job, with your kids, with your friends, and with those who don't know Him.  That's why Jesus said that others would know us by our love.  He never said to make non-believers fall into line.  He often said, instead, to show them The Way.  Show them how to love Jesus, and the rest will fall into place.

I ask you, friend, which way are you pointing?  Are you pointing fingers at others and pointing at what they're doing wrong?  Or are you pointing them instead toward Jesus?

The Sound of (Worship) Music

There has been quite a bit of talk lately about modern worship music and whether or not it's good, acceptable, and even biblical.  I've seen judgment on both sides of the line and some of it has gotten pretty ugly.  It's perfectly okay to have an opinion either way; it is never okay to tell someone that the music they use to worship is wrong or somehow less valid than your preference.

There is a wide variety of worship music these days.  I've seen heavy metal bands who use that style to create worship music.  I've seen rock and pop music in worship.  I've seen classical music used and I've seen traditional hymns sung.  While the heavy metal and the old-fashioned hymns aren't my particular choice, I'm sure not going to tell someone who does like those styles that they aren't really worshiping the Lord because they aren't doing it my way.  If your heart is earnestly seeking after God and you're praising His name through whatever type of song you're listening to, then what business do I have telling you that it's not as good as the way I worship?!  It may not be my personal preference, but I have no right to put you down because I don't care for that style of worship music.  That is not showing love and grace towards my fellow believers.

I recently read an article by a pastor who refuses to use modern worship songs in his church because he said they were not theologically sound.  He said that all of the old hymns are theologically sound doctrine and he even said that modern worship songs should not be used in any church, ever.  That really bothered me because many of the modern worship songs we sing at our church are actually scripture straight from the Bible set to music!  Anyone who argues that modern worship music is not theologically sound has obviously not listened to much of it.  As with anything, there are exceptions to the rule and you have to be discerning, but in large part, modern worship music is straight from the Bible.  2 Timothy 3:16 says "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right" (NLT).  If all scripture is useful for teaching, then that certainly applies to scripture in modern worship songs.

I've heard people say that modern worship songs are too repetitive.  God's Word tells us in Psalm 119:11 that we should put His word in our hearts so that we don't sin against Him.  What better way to memorize scripture than by singing it?  Personally, I have a terrible memory, but when something is set to music I will remember it forever and a day.  Singing scripture is a perfect way for me to put God's word into my heart.  When I'm depressed or anxious I can recall a song quoting scripture much easier than I can recall scripture itself.  So, while modern worship songs may be repetitive in nature, they're beneficial because of it.

Another argument against modern worship songs is that they are too much like going to a rock concert and too much like entertainment rather than worship.  Well, I can tell you this-- if you're not in a worship frame of mind, you won't be able to worship no matter what style of music is playing.  If you're going to church to be entertained like at a concert then you're already going for the wrong reasons.  If you do have trouble worshiping because of the style of music then I would encourage you to find a church where you feel at home and free to worship in your own way.  I love the modern worship songs because I can let go and worship freely.  I've normally got my eyes closed and I'm not even paying attention to the lighting or the words on the screen or what the worship leader is doing.  I'm there to worship God and sing to Him alone.  I don't care what anyone else is doing because I'm too focused on God to notice!

The bottom line is this-- no matter what style of music you choose to use in your worship, focus on Jesus and give grace and love to those who choose a different style than you.  We are all the body of Christ and we should come together in worship, not tear each other apart because of our differences.

In Loving Service

God recently revealed something to me and I want to share it with y'all.  Maybe it's something you already know, but maybe it will hit you the way it hit me.  I'll never look at serving the same way.

I have a servant's heart- I love to serve people in any capacity; especially my husband because I have such a big love for him.  A servant's heart does not come naturally to everyone.  It isn't necessarily that those of us who aren't naturally servant-hearted are just inherently selfish (although humans as a species are all inherently selfish to varying degrees).  We were all created with different gifts and talents and a servant's heart is just one of those things.  No better, no worse, just different.  And yet, it's a gift we all need to have.  We're supposed to love one another as Jesus loves us, and he is a servant king.  Matthew 25:40 says that whatever we do for the least, we also do for Jesus.  We are his hands and feet in this world and so we all need to have a servant's heart occasionally.

It comes so naturally to me to serve my husband.  I spoil him, but I love to.  I put his shoes on in the morning and take them off at night.  Not because he can't and not even because he asked me to (he didn't).  In fact, it took him quite a while to get used to the fact that I wanted to do that for him.  It's just a small act of loving service that I can perform for him to show him how much I love him.  I'm sure we all do something like that for our spouses because we want to show our love for them.  Well, guess what?  Everything we do for God is done in the same way, with the same purpose; to show God how much we love him!  I have generally looked at serving God as something of a requirement; a duty.  It is those things, but I never have looked at serving God as a way to show him how very much I love him!  I looked at it as obedience, as a duty, as a privilege and an honor, but never as a way to show God that I love him.  Maybe y'all are thinking, "well, duh, Catherine.  Took you long enough."  I totally agree.  It seems so obvious now, but wow, it sure has given me a new outlook.  Now, when I do things like driving for Feed the Flock (a program at our church which provides a hot meal for families in need, twice a week) or singing on praise team at church, or even just helping out a friend in need, I think about how we are supposed to do everything as though we were working for the Lord rather than people (Colossians 3:23) and I realize that the act of being obedient and doing whatever I am doing is showing God that I care about what he wants from me and that I love him enough to be obedient to his word.

Before this revelation, it isn't that I wasn't trying to show my love for Jesus.  I just thought that the only way I was doing it was through worship.  I suppose I was a little caught up in the thought that my obedience was just trying to be good enough for Jesus.  Worthy, somehow, of his immense sacrifice.  My friends, that just ain't ever gon' happen.  I am a sinner and I don't know how to be anything else.  Thank you Jesus that it doesn't matter that I can't live a sin-free life
.  My obedience does not make him love me more or less.  My worship is not the only way I have to show him how grateful I am and how much I love him.  And HE is the one who showed that to me!  What an incredible God we love.  Amen.

A matter of life and death

Our words have power.  I'm sure y'all have heard that a million times before today, but it's true.  I think we don't always realize just how powerful our words are, especially when it comes to our husbands.  Ladies, we have the power to make or break our husbands.  It all comes down to our words.

There are many, many passages in the Bible which talk about the words we speak.  Proverbs 18:21 says "The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences" (NLT).  It's ours to choose whether we bring death or life to our husbands (or to anyone).  I think it is especially important that we are careful with the words we choose to use with our husbands.  (I think we should be careful with our words to everyone, but this post is specifically about marriages today.)  We're so comfortable in our own homes and with our families.  For most of us, our husband is our best friend.  We're comfy and we let our guard down because we are in our own space.  This is a good thing, but it also means that we don't always put the effort in that we should.  We don't think before we speak because we're comfortable.  We say things to our spouses we would never say to a casual acquaintance.  This should not be the case!  Our spouses deserve at least as much respect as the guy in the office next to yours; the teacher in the class next to you; the mom you sit next to at your Mother's Day Out group.  If you wouldn't say it to them, you shouldn't be saying it to your spouse.  Speaking harshly, negatively, disrespectfully to your spouse is a quick way to bring death to your relationship.  That's what the Proverb above says-- your words can bring life or death and if you speak with words of death you'll suffer the consequences.

And not just you, but your husband will suffer the consequences as well.  If you're berating your spouse, he'll start to believe what you say and act accordingly.  Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy if you will.  If your words are disrespectful towards your husband, especially in public, you're bringing death to your husband.  Proverbs 12:4 says "A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones" (NLT).  Just as cancer can bring death, so do your disrespectful words.  They eat away at your husband until the spirit inside him withers and dies.

On the other hand, if you speak words of life, you lift your husband up!  When you support him and affirm him with your words, you empower your husband to rise above.  If you are affirming your husband and showing him that you place value on him it makes him strive to be worthy of that affirmation.  When you do so publicly it is a wonderful example of how a wife should treat her husband.  You are then "a crown" for your husband rather than a "cancer in his bones."  I would certainly rather be a crown to my husband!  I would never want to bring him death; it hurts my heart to even think about bringing death or pain to my husband.  Some of y'all bring death on a regular basis, and you probably don't realize the extent of the damage you're causing.

Our words are either death or they are life.  I know that I don't want to bring death to my husband and I'm sure y'all don't either.  Start examining what you say more closely; think before you speak, even- maybe especially- when you're comfortable in your setting.  Speak life!

Respecting authority

Let me start by saying that I'm not the most politically-minded person, and I don't follow politics closely, but I do have a working knowledge of the things that go on in our society both locally and nationally.  This entry is not intended to start a big political debate about who's right and who's wrong in our country.  My goal here is to address the way in which we relate to those in positions of authority in our towns, our states, and our nation.

A friend of mine, who is a law enforcement officer, recently pointed something out that really opened my eyes.  He referred to Romans 13 which states in verse 1 that "all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God" (NLT).  If you're like me, you've heard that verse before and it's nothing new.  However, what struck me was the fact that I'd never considered our law enforcement as authorized by God to uphold our laws.  Verse 2 of Romans 13 goes on to say that "anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished" (NLT).  Those who break the law are not just breaking man's laws, they're actually rebelling against God as well.  Our law enforcement officers are placed in their positions by God in order to uphold a system He established.  They deserve our respect, our support, and most of all, our prayers.

Slightly off topic for a moment- I had been wondering why our law enforcement in this country should be under attack the way they have been in recent months.  It didn't make sense to me.  When I heard my friend talk about being placed in authority by God according to Romans 13 it made so much more sense to me that law enforcement would be under attack.  They're under attack because ultimately, by upholding the law, they're doing the Lord's work whether they realize it or not.  Satan is always going to try to bring down those who do the work of the Lord.  I don't know if y'all have been wondering the same thing, but maybe that will help you understand as it did for me.

Back to the main point.  The verses in Romans 13 extend beyond our local law enforcement.  They extend to our city government, our state government, and our national government.  Again, I'm not the greatest political mind, and on the whole I find that I disagree with our president's politics, however, he has been placed in a position of authority over us, by God, (do you really think he'd be president if God didn't will it so?) and therefore we are to be respectful of him.  Much the same way that we are to respect Christ as the head of the church, and our husbands as the head of our home, we are to give respect to Barack Obama as president of the United States.  That doesn't mean we have to agree with the president, like him, or even trust him, but we do have to be respectful.  Ultimately, God is in control and His will is going to be carried out regardless of who is president, governor, or mayor of your town.  Those digs and insults to the president (or other authority figures) you post on Facebook?  It's disrespectful and ultimately rebellious against God.  It does not exemplify the relationship we are supposed to have with our loving Savior.  Being respectful of someone, loving them, and praying for them has nothing to do with the kind of person they are, but rather everything to do with the person we purport to love and serve.

One thing wives need to stop doing now

I've noticed a disturbing trend on both Facebook and Pinterest lately among some of my married friends.  It's been bothering me for a while now and it just seems like an issue that ought to be addressed.  Several of my married friends have been posting and pinning pictures of half-naked male models talking about how attractive these men are and how attracted they are to this type of man.  It's one thing for single women to drool over Greek god-like male figures, but it's quite another for a married woman to publicly talk about how attractive she finds men who are not her husband.  It is flat out disrespectful, not to mention hurtful, to the husbands.

In Ephesians 5, Paul is talking about marriage and how a husband and wife should treat each other.  The last thing he says in chapter 5 is  in regard to wives and I think it is particularly applicable to this situation.  He says, "So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (Ephesians 5:33, NLT, emphasis added).  Ladies, it isn't optional.  We are told to respect our husbands.  It isn't always easy when they're behaving in ways contrary to what they ought, but that doesn't exempt us from living up to the way God wants us to treat them.  Posting and pinning pictures of men who are not our husbands is extremely disrespectful of our husbands and it can only do harm to our marriages.

Marriage is supposed to be sacred.  Certainly, we should treat it as though it were.  Once things like this start to creep in from the outside, it becomes a slippery slope.  At first, it's just a picture here and there.  Then perhaps it becomes going to women's clubs where men undress.  And then maybe it progresses to infidelity.  Ladies, it always starts small with something innocuous and once that small thing is a habit, we stop thinking of it as sin and we allow ourselves to get deeper into sin.  We have to be ever vigilant so that we don't let this kind of thing creep into our lives.

Think about how your would feel if the situation was reversed.  What if your husband was looking through a Playboy magazine and decided to get a subscription?  How would you feel?  If you're like me, you would feel betrayed, hurt, disrespected, and angry.  If you don't want the man you love to make you feel that way, then you sure shouldn't make him feel that way.

Perhaps you are thinking to yourself, "but my husband doesn't see what I post on Facebook or what I pin on Pinterest."  Maybe he doesn't.  But other people do.  People you are probably both friends with.  These people see how you treat your husband.  This is the example you are setting for them.  Likely not all of your friends are Christians.  We're supposed to be set apart from other people in this world so that others can see Jesus through us.  Treating your husband with such blatant disrespect is far from the example you should be setting.

Ladies, if this is you, please pray about it and consider how your actions affect your husband and those around you.  We all struggle with something, and sometimes we don't even realize how the things we do/say can be detrimental to our relationships.

Praise the Lord, O My Soul!

It has been a really fantastic day.  I love to go to church and worship in the company of other believers!  God indwells our praise, and I feel him the most when I am worshiping him in song.  There are few things I love more than singing praises to God.  It is so important for us to come together as believers and worship.

I hear people say that they can worship God anywhere and that they don't need a building set aside specifically for worship.  While it is true that God isn't contained by a building, we do still need to come together to worship.  We need other believers to pray with us, and we need to pray for other believers.  Having a church family gives us somewhere to go when we need help or guidance.  One purpose for having other believers in our lives is so that God has vessels through which he can work in our lives.  For example, my husband and I are building an addition to our house and doing the work ourselves.  We needed help in order to close it in and weatherproof it before some rain came, and our church family was there to help when we needed it.  If we didn't attend church and make our needs known to our church family, I sure don't know where we would have gotten help.  I am so incredibly grateful for them!

Another thing I hear people say about church is "I know so-and-so goes to that church so I won't go there" or "Church is nothing but a bunch of hypocrites anyway."  Really??  Those are nothing but excuses.  We are all sinners and we all fall short on a daily basis.  We aren't going to church for so-and-so and we aren't going to show others how righteous we are.  We're going to worship an Almighty God who, despite our failings and shortcomings and total inability to do anything worthy, saved us by His Grace.  El Roi, the God Who Sees, knows all of our own shortcomings and failures and loves us anyway, so who cares what so-and-so thinks or does or how many people say one thing on Sunday and live a totally different life during the week?  We go to church for God alone!  We go because HE is worthy of worship no matter what!

Going to church and corporately worshiping God is refreshing to our souls.  It really keeps me going from Sunday to Wednesday and then to Sunday again.  I learn so much that is helpful to my daily walk with the Lord; things I couldn't pick up just reading my Bible and not discussing it with other believers.  Ultimately, by giving my time, my praise and my worship to the Lord, it blesses me in so many ways.  Amen and amen!

No more excuses!

We all have sin in our lives.  We're all guilty of something that we just don't want to let go of.  From lying and cheating to eating too much, drinking too much, pornography, or whatever it is, there's always something in our lives.  I've struggled for most of my life with gluttony.  I just love food, and cooking, and eating, and feeding people.  There's nothing wrong with that, but when it comes to eating and stuffing myself full, well... that's not good.  I feel bad when it happens and I ask for forgiveness and strength to overcome the temptation.  One thing I try never to do, and that is make excuses for my sin.

Society has become really great at telling us that sin isn't our fault.  That we can't help it.  That we're born this way so why try to fight against our nature.  I call that a bunch of lies!  Personal responsibility is a thing of the past!  We make our own choices daily.  We choose to sin or we choose to follow Jesus.  In the same way I choose to control my eating, others can choose to control their drinking, or their viewing of porn, or their choice to have sexual relations with a member of the same sex.  It is a choice.  It may be a difficult choice; it may seem impossible, and there may be days where we choose to sin, but it's still our own free will allowing us to make the choice.

God forgives us when we ask, every single time, but when we choose to live in sin openly and without remorse, he can't forgive us.  We haven't asked.  We don't even acknowledge it as sin.  And the more we sin without repentance, the easier it gets for us until we've stopped viewing whatever it is we're doing as a sin.  If we have given our lives to Jesus, the Holy Spirit will be pricking our conscience when we're doing something wrong.  One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control, which helps us when we're struggling with sin.  God promises that he will give us a way out if we pray for his help when we're fighting temptation.  (1 Cor. 10:13)

We've got to stop making excuses for our sin.  There's just no reason to.  God knows we struggle with it and he's ready to forgive us always if we just ask.  We need to stop making sin okay as a society.  The popular choice for Christians these days is to preach tolerance; we're all going to heaven and sin is okay because we're all born with a sinful nature anyway.  I'm sorry, but that's not what the Bible teaches and it may not be popular but it's the truth.  I would rather be unpopular because I told people the truth than to be responsible for leading people away from The Way, The Truth, and The Life.

More precious than rubies

I love to snuggle up with my husband in the evenings and watch a good show on Netflix.  It’s just so nice to curl up with him and relax after a day of running around the house doing whatever needs doing, running the kids wherever they need to go, making sure homework gets done, dinner is fixed and cleaned up, etc.  It’s comforting.  It’s safe.  It’s my happy place.  We sit together and unwind while watching comedies and crime, love stories and life stories.  

Most of the things we watch involve couples of various ages and stages.  Most of the time, my husband and I look at each other and say, wow, I’m so glad we aren’t like that as a couple!  So many of the couples portrayed on television these days are a less than stellar example of what a loving, committed couple should look like.  We as wives need to be careful of who we look up to in this fallen world.    Often, the couples on TV are disrespectful of each other, quick to anger and defense, and selfishness prevails rather than love and compassion.  The “virtuous wife” spoken of in Proverbs 31:10 is indeed hard to find if you’re looking at the television.  Our society glorifies their definition of “strong women.”  The definition of a strong woman according to today’s society seems to be this: a woman who leads her man around by his nose, telling him what to do and how to do it, doing what she wants when she wants to do it, and generally living life on her own terms.  Television characters like Laura on the Walking Dead, Lily on How I Met Your Mother, Cersei Lannister on Game of Thrones, Temperance Brennen on Bones, and Alison on Medium are examples of society’s definition and ideal as far as strong women are concerned.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with watching these shows, but I do think that we need to be very careful about idealizing these characters and emulating them.  It should be our daily prayer as wives for the Lord to shape us into the biblical version of a strong woman. 

If you read through Proverbs 31:10-31, you will see exactly how God defines a strong woman.  His Word tells us that this kind of woman is so valuable that she can’t even be compared to one of the most precious gemstones known to man!  I don’t know about you, but I would far rather be this valuable to my husband than to try and emulate society’s standards and fall despairingly short of God’s.  

Teaching modesty, minus the shame

How many times have we as women thought about modesty in relation to what we wear every day?  Modesty is a concept that a lot of us have had drilled into us from early childhood.  In and of itself, it isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I want to portray class.  I want my daughter to be classy.  I don't want people to look at either of us and think that we are intentionally showing off our assets!  However, I do think that there is a middle ground somewhere between covering every part of our body and showing it all off.  There are detriments to teaching girls that they need to hide their bodies.

God designed the female body.  He designed it to be beautiful and attractive and that beauty and attraction shouldn't be viewed as a negative thing.  Women have curves and shape and we like to be, feel, and look pretty.  There isn't anything wrong with that!  The problem arises when society (largely the Christian society) makes women feel as though their bodies are something to be ashamed of.  We're made to feel like our natural beauty puts us at fault for making men stumble in their faith by lusting after us, whether or not we're conscious of our appearance.  Now, if we're trying to catch men's eyes by wearing skimpy clothing then we do have some responsibility there.  But if we're wearing jeans that fit well and a t-shirt and a man looks and lusts, that isn't our fault.  We cannot control the thoughts and actions of another person and we certainly aren't responsible for their sin.  In teaching modesty to our girls we are telling them that men can't control themselves so we are responsible for modifying how we dress in order that they don't have to control themselves.  What kind of logic is that?  It sets our girls up to grow into women who are ashamed of their bodies and uncomfortable around men; even their own husbands.  This goes back to my first post a couple of weeks ago about sexuality and being open about it and talking about sex.  We can't be comfortable talking about sex with anyone, much less our spouses, if we are made to feel ashamed of our bodies.  Read that post here: A Bold Beginning

Teaching women that their bodies are a source of sin for men has produced a culture which believes that rape is the fault of the woman.  I cannot stress enough how wrong this view is.  Ladies, you are not at fault if a man makes the conscious choice to commit rape.  He chose, based on his own lust and sinful nature, to commit an atrocious act against your will.  You did not choose for him by wearing clothing he found attractive.  He had the choice to act or to refrain from acting.  I am a rape victim and it was not my fault.  I did not choose it; he did.  It wasn't because I had a lack of modesty.  I wasn't wearing a mini skirt; I wasn't wearing a shirt showing cleavage or tight-fitting pants; it would not have mattered if I had been.  In fact, it had nothing to do with me personally and everything to do with the man's sinful nature and his willingness to give in to that sinful nature.  Teaching girls/women to cover up their bodies and hide behind loose-fitting, frumpy clothing just teaches us that it is our own fault.  We should no more be ashamed of our bodies, which were designed by God Himself, than we should be ashamed of the beauty of a sunrise.

My daughter is 11 years old.  I want to teach her modesty.  But I don't want to teach her to cover up her beauty or to take on responsibility for a sin which isn't her own.  I believe we can find a middle ground here.  I believe we can teach our girls healthy sexuality without compromising their wholesomeness.

If you'd like to read more, Sheila Wray Gregoire has written a wonderful blog entry about modesty here: Is the Christian Modesty Message Causing Women To Be Ashamed of Their Bodies?

Dealing with anger

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.  Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires."  James 1:19-20 NLT

I had an incident this afternoon where someone close to me said something hurtful on social media and I got angry.  If you're like me, your first instinct is to respond in some way.  I wanted to defend against the remarks and point out how wrong this person was to say such a hurtful thing in a public way.  I had even convinced myself that maybe my anger was righteous anger.  And then I read James 1:19-20.  The anger slowly started to recede in the face of what God says about it.  

My New Living Testament Bible has a note next to the word "righteousness" in verse 20.  It says that the word righteousness here can also be translated as justice.  I read the verse again, substituting justice for righteousness, and wow!  It spoke to me in a new and vivid way.  My anger over the situation this afternoon could have led to something completely different than what God had in mind if I had chosen to act on it.  God's sense of justice is just not even close to ours!  He sees the big picture.  He understands why the person who hurt me today said what they said and He knows what to do about it even if I don't, and even when I think I know what ought to be done about it.  His Word says I need to be "slow to get angry."  So instead of being hurt and offended and then angry, I need to be "quick to listen" and try to understand the position of the person who has angered me and then let go of that anger.  God will deal with the person justly, and it isn't up to me to determine how that should be.  

Before I read verse 20 with justice inserted instead of righteousness, I used to think that being angry in itself was a bad thing because it made me unrighteous.  Well who wants to be unrighteous??  Not this girl!  So I was berating myself for being angry and that really isn't the point here.  The point is that the fruits of our anger produce consequences that the Lord does not desire.  When we respond to someone in anger, we choose to take God's justice into our own hands.  I don't know about you, but I sure didn't think about it that way before.  I want to be slow to get angry.  I don't like being angry; who does??  Perhaps if we're all quicker to listen (with the intent to hear the speaker, and without thinking about our reply while they're speaking) then we'll be slower to get angry and less likely to take God's justice into our own less-than-capable hands.  I would so much rather He be responsible for the justice than me anyway, because He's perfect in his decisions and I am so not!    

A bold beginning

My very first blog entry.  You'd think I would pick something innocuous to talk about; how to better organize your time, maybe, or respecting your husband more, etc.  Nope.  My first blog is going to be about sex.  S. E. X.  Why, you ask?  Because we don't talk about it enough in the right context!

If you're like me, you were raised in a home where sex was sort of a taboo topic.  Sure, we knew what it was (well, mostly anyway) and that it happened around us, but we didn't *gasp* talk about it out loud.  Heaven forbid.  My best friend and I couldn't even say the word sex, so we made up a code word!  But that's so ridiculous!  Growing up not talking about it and viewing sex as something to be kept under the table and as something dirty did not do me any favors as an adult.  It didn't do my husband any favors either because I couldn't tell him what I wanted or that I wanted!  Sex is an important part of marriage and it's healthy to talk to your spouse about it.  If we can't talk to our spouse about our needs and desires our sex life will suffer.  Ladies, the number one way in which your husband feels truly connected to you emotionally is during sex.  Personally, I want to show my husband how much I love him in every way I can.  This meant that I had to get over that fear of talking about sex.  When I did, my goodness!  What a world opened up for us!  Sure, there's a learning curve, but we were learning together and it was fun!  I felt like a teenager again!

We've got to get over this idea that sex is dirty and disgusting and that we shouldn't speak of it.  Sex within marriage is one of God's gifts to us.  We truly can become one flesh and even be worshipful during sex with our spouse.  It isn't something to be hidden and talked about in hushed tones like it's forbidden and disgusting.  Sex is a beautiful thing between two people who love each other and are committed to loving each other.  I want my kids to know that sex in marriage is a good thing; a healthy thing; and that it isn't something to be ashamed of.  I want them to know how to talk about sex and sexual matters comfortably so that they can develop a healthy attitude towards sex and empower their future spouses to be open about it as well.

It's even important to God that we talk about sex.  There's a whole book of the Bible full of beautiful imagery related to marital sex!  We don't talk about that book in the Bible either!  Song of Solomon is a beautifully written dialogue between a husband and wife.  It's loving and tender, passionate and erotic.  If God saw fit to guide one of the wisest men who ever lived (Solomon) to write a book about sex then surely we should be able to discuss it and use the wisdom in that book to guide our sexual experience!

So, there it is folks.  My first blog entry.  I hope y'all enjoyed it!  Come back now, ya hear?